Monday, 6 May 2013

Thicker Than Water


I'd like to thank the Trifectans for voting me into third place this week. I consider myself in fine company with Draug. Congrats to all others who placed and submitted an entry. 

This week was fun reading the stories as getting my nerd on. I am going to try to keep my writing on topic with Mother's Day up coming ... with the exception of this one. Not sure how I ended up here but I had fun with it.
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“Blood is thicker than water Mate.” 

Uncle Reg lived with us for twenty years and his British accent was actually getting worse  -  “thicker” sounded like “fickah”.

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I’d heard that saying many times. It made my skin crawl.  The first time was when he was cleaning bits of sawdust and blood from my tiny nine-year-old frame.  He was a cabinetmaker. He smelled of fresh cut wood, sweat and tobacco. He’d built a special place in his shop “just for us”. 

“Back home this is how they made a man of us lad”. He’d reassure me.

He was different before and after. Before, he was scary and intense. There was something in his eyes – a hunger or craving. His hands would shake as he fumbled on top of me. After, the look was gone. He was sheepish and couldn’t look at me in the eye. Sometimes he’d yell at me and tell me to stay away from him.  I learned to keep my distance.

This went on until I was eighteen when I told him if he touched me again I’d kill him.  He pleaded with me, claiming I was the only one.  Another boy would become like him. He said relatives were immune to the change. 

Fuck him. I was done.

Uncle Reg became twisted and deformed, claiming sudden arthritis. During this same time, pets in the neighborhood started to mysteriously go missing.  A year or two later there wasn’t a cat or a dog for blocks around us. The locals blamed it on coyotes.

Uncle Reg’s health suddenly returned. We’d kept our distance over time but I could see he was changing.  One evening I followed him to his shop and found him leaning over my eight-year-old nephew.  

“Blood is thicker than water Mate.”

I picked up a shovel and took his head clean off. I held my nephew, shielding him from the bloody mess. “It really is thick,” I remember thinking.

I drove a stake through his heart for insurance.
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Trifecta Prompt: Blood (lineage) 
Word Count: 333

36 comments:

  1. Gosh! This kept me on tenterhooks all the way through. I didn't see the vampirism coming! Well done, and congrats for last week.

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    1. Ya thanks Sandra - it's a fine line between subtle and too abstract.

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  2. Nice parallels. Good story.

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    1. Ya thanks Joe it was a little of everything there.

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  3. Great story, devastating

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    1. Thanks Bjorn - congrats on the win it was a classic!!!

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  4. I am jumping up and down cheering. Can you hear me??? What every sexually abused child wants for their perpetrator(s) I would imagine. Congratulations on your win and this feels like a winner too!

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    1. I love it when the bad guy gets it!! Thanks for the support.

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  5. I love a happy, or at least justifiable, ending, even if it is messy. Congratulations.

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    1. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

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  6. Good riddance, Uncle Reg! What a creep. I think offing his head with a shovel and driving a stake through his heart was too kind, for his kind. (Not that I condone violence, but people that mess with children really bug me.)

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    1. waste of skin is all that is ... $2.00 for a good bullet is too much.

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  7. Powerful, intense writing. Really well done!

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  8. Sam, I think we make quite the pair in third place. You are fine company :D

    I love this piece. It's awesome, even given the sensitive topic. Quick note, though: you might want to change "steak" to "stake" (:

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    1. snap I just got the vampire thing. *headdesk*

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    2. Haha That's ode to Draug totally. and thanks for the typo. Out of my element.

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  9. Wow ~ a fantastic read. Congrats on a well deserved kill.

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  10. This was devastatingly creepy on so many levels, and I agree with the others here that the balance you created here was really interesting.

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    1. If I only knew what make something good I could try and do it again - but that's not how it works

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  11. This gave me shivers. It was so well done. As a Brit, good call on the accent, it really worked. LM x

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    1. That's great Lyssa - actually i have lots of family from manchester so I played off them.

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  12. "I picked up a shovel and took his head clean off." Abso-fucking-lutely!!! If there is a lower form of humanity than a child abuser, I am not sure who it could be? Great writing, as we are all coming to expect as your norm! :)

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    1. Haha thanks tom writing is great way to vent ...

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  13. Wow - incredible! From the description of the uncle and how he smelled, which was great in its own right, this could have gone any number of directions, but it developed in such a natural, horrifying way. The way you framed it, with tones of monster stories (werewolves or vampires) was also a really nice touch. Great work!

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  14. The ever-worsening accent was a great clue. Not a vampire fan, your tale was great (up to the shovel head remover, that is - yuk).

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  15. Dark as the inside of a lost soul. I loved it from start to finish, and mentally applauded the retribution.

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  16. Too bad you couldn't blame that on a coyote.

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  17. Just terrifying, really was.

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  18. Wow. I took this to be a child abuse story until I got to the comments. It's fantastic - whichever way you read it. The voice of your narrator is so assured, and that last line so important. Great work.

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  19. This is so dark and twisted -- and so good. Like others, I didn't see the twist coming. Love the ending, especially the last line. That's what I would do too. :)

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  20. Ha, I was kind of half cringing reading most of this because of where I thought it was going. May be one of the only times I'd be relieved that the villain is a vampire ;) Great tale.

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  21. Wow! That is certainly one way to handle business. I loved the subtlety of the man's changes, punctuated with the decapitation. NIce job.

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  22. Awful fellow-glad he met his end equally horribly- though I would have preferred him to be tortured at many levels first!A great story-excellently told Sam:-)

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