Monday, 13 May 2013

Mother's Day Antithesis



Dear Mom,

I can no longer hide the reasons why I am so unHappy. Mother’s, every Day. As you may or may not know, I have to find a new excuse not to kill myself. The scars from my child hood are now so painful and obvious Im unable to continue looking myself in the mirror.  

I will be forwarding information regarding the abuse in our home to the police. I still feel like that dirty little baby I scrub myself for hours in the shower and  I still never feel really clean. I don't want to do this but I have to. I know this will be a thankless undertaking and the family will be upset. you cannot understand how important a happy home, safe from abuse is for my husband and children (your grandchildren) 

I know I am to blame for setting myself up for these ongoing attacks. I will no longer be a party to my own abuse adain. will always love you and I understand you did the best you could. Unfortunately your best is punishable by law and the full accounting for your behaviour is yet to come. 

Please let me know if there is anything I can bring.

Love. Sam

Track Changes: Accept all Insertions and Deletions


Tears and mascara have morphed Samantha's eyes into Alice Cooper caricatures. With steady hands and deliberate movements she accepts the Tracked Changes and cuts and pastes the content into the body of an e-mail.

The Result:
_________________________

Happy. Mother’s Day

As you know, I have a new child now and Im looking forward to the baby shower. I wanted to thank you from my husband and children (your grandchildren) for setting up the party.   love you and the best is yet to come. 

Please let me know if there is anything I can bring.

Love. Sam
__________________________

Sliding a large manilla envelope into the desk drawer, she says aloud:

"Behind every successful woman is herself." 

A faint smile emerges. New strength flows into her filling her with comfortable confidence. She tidies her mascara and practices her three most authentic smiles in the mirror before going downstairs to start dinner. 

She's going to be just fine... 
**********

***Author's Note: This is a writing exercise and does not reflect any people or circumstances in my life or the life of anyone I know.



DELIBERATE
1: characterized by or resulting from careful and thorough consideration <a deliberate decision>
2: characterized by awareness of the consequences<deliberate falsehood>
3: slow, unhurried, and steady as though allowing time for decision on each individual action involved <a deliberate pace>

53 comments:

  1. wow ...good job even though its a little on the dark side :)

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    1. I like my post the way I like my wife - edgy and a little on the dark side ;)

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  2. Being able to literally read between the lines, gives the short thank you note real bite. I got the impression of a poisoned pen letter, dripping with sarcasm.

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    1. Ya there's that . It's a private moment of seeking closure.

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  3. This is very good, and unfortunately very painfully real. Well done.

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    1. Thanks Anne. I try to mix ut up but my posts hve been pretty dark lately.

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  4. Real tragedy, just real tragedy. Almost unbearable in its intensity.

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    1. Ya thanks Pirte. living with abuse is a common story. I though I may have done something new here with the track changes. But it's always hard to tel if your writing is good or not.

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  5. Replies
    1. Well that is the original reaction but ultimately this is a story of empowerment or t least its supposed to be. By writing and not sending that letter she is letting go. It's a common therapy tactic for dealing with trauma. But yikes is good :)

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  6. Love how this is distilled in the end.

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    1. THanks Soup Mama good to see you here :)

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  7. Interesting!

    Good for her, for writing it all down and for surviving. It did make me want to burn the mother's house down to ash.

    In other words nice job!

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    1. Thanks Jennifer, I wasn't sure how this would go over. The content is pretty dark and the delivery is definitely different. I've never seen anything written exactly this way before. I got the idea when I was writing an angry e-mail and I revised so many times ti ended up "Have a nice day" or along those lines anyways. Regardless it was a fun exercise.

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  8. Dear Jennifer took the words right out of my mouth! I think writing things down is a good start to moving forward.

    Very original piece, Sam!

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  9. I like the track changes take which allowed us to see her thoughts before she 'prettied it up' for sending.

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    1. Yeah it was kind of hard to write but I thought it was a cool idea.

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  10. creative use of the correction slashes :-)

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  11. dang man....vicious....really creative way to bring this out...whew....for some reason th fact she has a kid on the way makes it all the edgier...great piece...

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  12. She's going to be just fine... That line hits the hardest. Great piece Sam!

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  13. Brilliantly conceived, hugely entertaining!!

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    1. Yes I think I might have actually done something original here.

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  14. Sam this was a sad tale, but brilliantly exwcuted-

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  15. So wonderful to read, and so creative. You should send a resume to Hallmark. :)

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    1. Might be a little edgy for Halmark. I actually have written a few greeting cards for a company called Blue Mountain - ummm not about abuse though :)

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  16. Loved the crossed out formatting. [I would have left out the "finished" email - it's already there.]
    I wrote so many letters like that (not abuse, just relationship crap) in my head. Maybe I should have done it like that - crossing out, letting go.
    I think you may have hit on an excellent filter for difficult relationships, Sam!

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    1. Hey Kymm I realy appreciate your comment about the "finished" e-mail. It was an experiment and I wasn't sure how it read. I didn't want to confuse the reader but on the other hand perhaps I should give them more credit.

      I actually write e-mails sometimes - and then delete without sending just to get shit off my chest (same not abuse just work and exes and life)

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  17. This is great! Love the originality of using track changes in a fictional context -- very clever! You did a great job of showing us a glimpse into your character's life through both letters. And I love the strength in the ending. Well done sir!

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    1. Yay, I'm glad you liked it suzanne it means allot to me :) I went out on a limb a little with this one.

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  18. A private moment about making the private public. . .creative structure.

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  19. wow, you got into my email box at Christmas time, didn;t you?

    clever, creative, relatable, and rootable. Loved it.

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    1. hahaha yer funny LAnce :) thanks

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  20. This is very different, but in a good way. Good job!

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    1. yes different for sure I'm glad you liked it Draug

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  21. Holy crap that was amazing - not only powerful but so cleverly made.

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    1. Hey man that a great compliment coming from you thomas thanks :)

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  22. This is one of the most creative pieces of writing I've seen in a long time. Love the mixed messages and the lies she's telling to herself.

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    1. Awe thanks Kelly, I really appreciate the feedback as I sad above I took a chance with this and it seems to be paying off this is the best reaction I've got yet.

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  23. I like the redaction. Very clever. Glad to know it's not a true or based-on-real-life story.

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  24. You have captured the essence of someone getting along in a difficult relationship. Great window into human response even if it is a dark window.

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  25. This was so creative. I really enjoyed the way you played with the words within the words.

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    1. Thanks so much. I'm glad you liked it.

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  26. This was sad and beautiful. What a griping piece.

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