Thursday, 29 August 2013

My Sister the Stripper

My sister the stripper, the belle of the ball.
Push-up-bra-tip-cup she’s gone by last call.
Exceeds at excess with a rip in her dress.
Succeeds at success she’s a true triple threat.

Spent rent on expenses; tuition's past due.
She fights the gag reflex doing duos for you.
On the Edge like Heath Ledger - a bender from hell.
Ditched her lab partner and just made the bell.

Edits for predators a night on the town.
Jaeger-bomb-booty-bumps the singles rain down.
Prince Charming’s alarming he steps on her toes.
She stutter-step stumbles and powders her nose.

Mid-terms with tapeworms the dog ate her books.
Professor undressed her with one creepy look.
Laugh lines from wincing but she’s not convinced.
Her grade point average has slid ever since.

My sister the stripper she’s doing her best
But it’s time for a break, she needs some rest.

*********


(Note: this is a fictional character!)

Over at D'verse Poets Pub Victoria is having us dig into our archives and edit an old poem. On my computer files I have my poems organized based on a number of categories but I have one folder I call "Doggerel". This is the folder of forgotten poems that I have decided are just bad poetry. This one I fear may still fit that bill but I have reworked it a number of times and I had a lot of fun with it.  There is a whimsical note to it however, the subject is very real - this is from a very dark time in my life and my own experience with addiction. 

11 comments:

  1. oy what a hard life eh? makes you wonder where the road got turned at to get her there...some nice quick rhyme and rather rap beat in the early bit....i feel like it loses momentum a bit toward the end and fizzles out....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha thanks for the feedback Brian - I kinda like 'midterms with tapeworms" but ya ... It was in the dog pile for a reason.

      Delete
  2. You've created a great character in those few lines. Would love to see more of her story as it unfolds.>KB

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh she def. needs some rest - and a chance to start over again - a cool fast beat in this one

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, wow... the mirroring of addiction is palpable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes this speaks of a tough life fo' sho'

      Delete
  5. Oh no, don't put it back in that folder. This is fun, flows well and we need some humor, Sam. Glad it's fiction, though it fits someone somewhere, no doubt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay - that's one vote to keep her on the Island.

      Delete
  6. Maybe if you take the word sister out of it... just something kinda yucky about a brother observing all this... Maybe a friend or Susie the stripper. LOL I don't know. BUT. I think it is worth putting in another drawer as I think it has potential.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha yeah I never thought of it that way. But ya eww. Not it bugs me alittle

      Delete

Thanks for stopping for a visit. You comments are appreciated.