At the Edge of the woods -
peering from behind a cedar tree.
a child wrapped in a blanket of wild panic.
afraid to stay and terrified to move.
Paralized with fear.
Discovering the tree house would have been comforting.
if comfort was possible.
Back at the house Mom is ...
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alright, I did the exercise, where do we post it?
ReplyDeletego to the http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/ and enter in the link up
ReplyDeleteI like this! It's really cool (:
ReplyDeleteThanks Draug this one almost drove me over the Edge
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I see what you did there. :) well done!
Ya I really think Trifecta is a great place to flex our imagination and try our new things. With only 33 words puctuation, grammer and word formation is invaluable in scraping every last bit of meaning out of the limited words. I am getting addicted to Trifecta!
DeleteAwww, I flashed to the scene in Forrest Gump where little Jenny is running through the field to hide from her father. This was a great peace - many emotional implications.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kenya. I had the riffle in there until the last munite but took in out. I must have left some remnants of the father coming ... that great!
DeleteThis is brilliant! I love the way you have played about with punctuation and lines, that didn't even occur to me! Also, the words you have chosen to build the scene are very well balanced I think; open enough for the reader to explore yet quite pressing. I actually find this pretty distressing. But that is a sign of a emotion-filled piece!
ReplyDeleteBingo. Thank you that was what I as going for. this whole challenge as a ... CHALLENGE. I almost drove myself nuts trying to find the right words and then I decided to stretch myself even more a mess around with spelling, grammer and punctuation. Your feed back is very encouraging thank again :)
DeleteAnyone see shades of e e cummings???? That was my inspiration on shape of the stanza.
DeleteThis is really good!
ReplyDeleteThanks Bo
DeleteI liked the punctuation and word positioning. Good story too.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lumdog. I'm happy to get some fed back on that I've never tried it before ...
ReplyDeleteLove the life hanging, and the way it was hanging, almost swinging : )
ReplyDeleteThanks Kymm :)
ReplyDeleteYou know, if you hold the camera side-ways, you can take a picture of the whole page. You can flip it sideways in most image-editing programs. Just saying.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I came here because on Google+ you said this was 'edgy'. I thought you meant 'wildly innovative'. I don't know about that. Unless you mean 'edgy' as in your name 'Edge' . . . "O, I C wat U did thar."
All jokes aside, this looks like a fun exercise. I'll give it a go. And if you're always this much fun, I might have to follow this blog.
I'll be watching you, Mr Edge. Always watching . . .